OPINION: Yes you can make local friends in Hamburg, here's how

Last month, we asked readers in Hamburg about their experiences of living there. While a solid majority of respondents said they would recommend Germany’s second city, a common theme of criticism was its inhabitants’ perceived unapproachability. But is Hamburg really, as one reader put it, “a beautiful city with unfriendly people”? Our columnist Brian Melican disagrees – and explains how to make friends in his adoptive hometown.

Yes, it’s true, Hamburg can be a tough nut to crack.

Even those born and bred in Germany’s windswept northern port city wouldn’t claim that we are known for bonhomie. Our informal anthem ‘City Blues’, a hip-hop hymn to Hamburg by the legendary Beginner group, puts it like this: “Wir müssen mit allem rechnen, weil man hier sonst erfriert. Deswegen wirken wir so komisch und so kompliziert.” Translation: “You’ve got to watch out here else you’ll freeze to death. That’s why we seem so strange and so complicated.” 

Even though climate change has taken the sting off of the cold since the track was released in 2003, winters here are still long, dark, and sometimes quite depressing – and Hamburgers are still guarded, reserved, and sometimes awkward. One thing we are not, however, is unfriendly. Quite the opposite. We just have trouble showing it sometimes.

Hamburg is different to many other German cities

As the song says: “Da im Süden von der Elbe, da sind die Menschen nicht diesselben” – “South of the Elbe river, people aren’t the same”.

I’ve also lived in Düsseldorf, for instance, whose Rhineland inhabitants are known for their gregariousness. One of their local Schlager numbers calls the old town ‘the world’s longest bar’, and in a classic Altstadt brewery, it isn’t hard to get chatting with whoever is stood next to you.

Further up the Rhine, wine festivals are big social events, with anyone welcome to plop themselves down with a glass and introduce themselves. Same goes for Bavaria’s beer gardens, where I challenge anyone to get through a Maß without being talked to. 

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But, as anyone who has ever been out for a drink in Hamburg will know, this is not the way things work here.

Pubs and bars in northern Germany have set tables for small groups, and you're expected to keep yourself to yourself. There is one major exception, of course: the area around the Reeperbahn, to which Hamburgers will only go late at night and only after they’ve drunk enough to feel comfortable having conversations with strangers – or, potentially, for more…

'Here today, gone tomorrow!'

In that sense, we’re a bit like Londoners. Which is probably one reason I feel at home here – and, in addition to the rain, one reason Hamburg is known as Germany’s ‘most British’ city.

Not that it is, statistically speaking: Brits aren’t even in the top 20 of foreign minorities (in Berlin, we’re in 14th place).

Hamburg is, however, very international: almost 20 percent of the city’s population has come from abroad and over 40 percent have roots outside of Germany. Many more have moved here from elsewhere in the country, too, as the population has risen by almost 10 percent in two decades to 1.85 million – even as tens of thousands move away every year. 

This churn leaves people actually born in Hamburg now firmly in the minority (41.5 percent). And, in another parallel to London and other cosmopolitan cities, it leads to a certain blasé attitude to Quiddjes, (newcomers) – as well as to a certain degree of annoyance among long-term residents about how difficult it has become to find somewhere to live these days.

It’s not that Hamburgers don’t welcome new arrivals: it’s just that, in an increasingly crowded port city well-used to comings-and-goings, we want to know who’s sticking around before opening up (and granting forgiveness for nabbing that nice three-bed flat over the road).

Another barrier to overcome is that northern Germans, although by no means as taciturn as they seem, do not always feel comfortable just chatting: sticklers for punctuality and with a keen sense of civic duty, they’re usually on their way somewhere – to meet existing friends, for instance, or to take part in an organised activity. 

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How to meet people and make friends in Hamburg

The key to actually meeting Hamburg locals and overcoming their initial reserve is to show that you, too, are planning to stick around – and to meet them in contexts in which they are prepared to socialise. Here are my three personal top tips.

Sports: Hamburgers love nothing more than joining a sports club: almost one in three residents has a membership (as against one in six in Berlin), so if you’re wondering where everyone is, this is part of the answer!

Football, of course, is big, but if you want to meet real Hamburgers, one guaranteed place to find them is on our emblematic canals and rivers: from long-established rowing clubs to new paddleboarding groups, there are organisations for all conceivable forms of water sport. (Kayak polo, anyone?) 

Other recherché options include air sports (we have not just one, but two gliding clubs with their own airfields) and, er, basketball on inline roller-skates… Hamburg is also the city which gave the world a new way to sweat: Hyrox. So if you’re a gym-bunny, you’re sure to find like-minded fitness fanatics at your local joint. (That’s where I met one of my best friends here.)

Volunteering: Northern Germans are not known for being boastful, so many people here keep their voluntary activities rather quiet. Once you start asking, though, you’ll realise that one reason your neighbour is always in a rush on Saturdays is because he’s visiting the local old persons’ home. Your colleague, too, might be taking a couple of hours off on Tuesday afternoons to read to schoolkids (and you thought she was sneaking out to get a massage and facial). 

Over the years, I’ve met some very close friends through volunteering: in a local residents’ association, for instance, and all manner of other clubs and groups. Whatever your interest, there’ll be something for you.

If I had any time left, for instance, I’d sign up to help Gans Hamburg count, track, and generally take care of the city’s geese. (Firstly, because I think geese are great; secondly, because I just love the association’s punning name!)

Work: This is a tricky one – socialising with workmates comes with attendant risks – but in my experience, people in Hamburg often meet each other through their jobs. That’s because we all spend a lot of time working (and then retire to the coast) and because, once we are working together, we have a reason to talk to each other. So if a colleague or business contact suggests getting lunch together sometime, my advice would be to take the plunge.

It might, however, take them a few months to ask. Whatever it is you do to meet people in Hamburg, don’t expect too much, too soon. As ‘City Blues’ puts it: “Wir brauchen halt ‘ne kleine Wele bis wir auftau’n” – “It takes us a while to thaw”. You can take heart in the next line, though: “Man glaubt’s kaum, aber dann sind wir echt kuschelig” – “Hard to believe, but then we’re warm and cuddly.” 

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I wouldn’t quite go that far, but we do make good, lasting friendships. And we’re a happy bunch – Germany’s happiest, actually. It’s just that, like our friendliness, our happiness isn’t always immediately apparent to new arrivals.

Give us some time: once you get past our city blues, you’ll be able to consider yourself at home!