German word of the day: Knöllchen

What does it mean?

Literally, das Knöllchen just means parking ticket, but the magic lies in its origins. The word comes from the Rhineland, where Knolle is slang for a root vegetable, or for anything small, potatoish, and lumpy. 

Whenever you add the diminutive form 'chen' to a word, it tends to make it smaller and cuter, so a Knöllchen is, literally speaking, a little lumpy vegetable. 

If you're wondering what this all has to do with a parking ticket, the answer comes down to a quirky bit of Rhineland rhyming slang. 

Ein Protokoll in German is a police report. Once upon a time, people in the Rhineland at some point began referring to a Protokoll as a Protokollchen (as a way of laughing at the fear which contact with the police generally inspires), then as a Protoknölle (for the same reason) – until, finally, Knöllchen became the go-to word for a parking ticket across the whole country. Here's how you pronounce it. 

Why do I need to know Knöllchen?

In German, the “correct” translation for a penalty notice is Strafzettel – a word which is exactly as unfriendly as it sounds.

Straf comes from the German verb Strafen (to punish) and is uncomfortably close to the English verb “strafe” (to attack repeatedly with machine gun fire). Zettel just means “note” – but somehow sounds much worse.

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If you drive in Germany, you’ve almost certainly been given a ticket at some point. If you haven’t yet – it’s just a matter of time. Here’s a quick rundown of what you can expect to pay:

You’ve exceeded the maximum parking time: €20 – 40
You’ve parked in a no-stopping zone: €35 
You don’t have a valid parking ticket: €20 - 40 
You’ve parked against the direction of traffic: €15
You’ve parked on a bike lane or pavement: €55

Now, be honest – when it happens to you – wouldn’t you rather arrive back at your car to find it decorated with a sweet and cuddly Knöllchen, instead of a cold and sneering Strafzettel?

Some people have taken the joke a step further by using the even more deminutive Knöllki.

No one enjoys getting a parking ticket, but whereas the word Strafzettel is likely to stoke feelings of righteous indignation, Knöllki – conjuring images of a defenceless, ill-formed carrot left exposed to the elements – can remove the sting. On a good day, it might even raise a smile.

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Use it like this:

Ich bin zu spät zum Auto zurückgekommen und habe ein Knöllchen über €35 bekommen.

I was late getting back to the car and got a ticket for €35.

Wir müssen uns beeilen, sonst kriegen wir 'n Knöllchen. 

We have to hurry or we'll get a parking ticket.