A week-and-a-half before Robert Enke stepped in front of a train on Tuesday, his father Dirk Enke, a qualified psychotherapist, went to Hannover to confront his 32-year-old son about his illness.
âFor me itâs about understanding why there was such a wall, such closedness,â Dirk Enke told news magazine Der Spiegel. âRobert had very carefully made others believe everything was fine.
âI frequently offered to him: âCome on, letâs talk as father and son.â I didnât want to talk to him as a professional. Maybe he thought: âThe old guy knows his stuff and is getting a sense of the fear I have.â Robert had a feeling: âThereâs something not right with my life.ââ
For several weeks, Dirk Enke had urged his son to be treated as a hospital in-patient, he said.
âHe was always so close to taking the step of having himself admitted (to hospital) and then he always said: âIf Iâm treated in a psychiatric clinic, thatâs it for my football. And thatâs the one thing I can do, and I want to do and love doing.â
Fear had triggered his sonâs depression, Dirk Enke said.
âIâm of the opinion that the illness doesnât originate inside, rather it arises out of the life circumstances,â he said.
This fear had already developed while Robert was young, his father said, not just in 2003, when Spanish side FC Barcelona, then Turkish team Fenerbahçe, dropped him from their squads, leaving him temporarily jobless.
As an early talent, he was placed in higher age groups, causing him to put pressure on himself.
âThat was always causing crises, because he was scared he couldnât keep up with the older players,â Dirk Enke said. âHe put nothing past himself. He was trapped by his own expectations. At critical moments, Robert was scared that a ball would shoot into his goal. He had attacks, didnât want to train, couldnât imagine standing in goal.
"He was so full of doubt, he once asked me: 'Dad, would you think I was bad if I dropped out of football?â I said: âFor Godâs sake, itâs not the most important thing.ââ
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